WOW! Check Out What I've Been Up To!!!

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to let you know what I've been up to since I moved my location from here to www.PeaceAndHappinessProject.com.

Here are my most recent articles that are not currently on this site.  I'll include the links in case you want to go visit to check one of them out.  If you are re-routed to the main page, which seems to be happening, check under the archives for July for a specific post that you are looking for.  Thanks.

If you are a follower of this page, please be sure to follow at the new site because that is where I will be posting all my new posts.  I appreciate the fact that you all keep stopping by!!  Please "LIKE" and "SHARE" each post that you enjoy!!  It may brighten the day of someone you care about and they will thank you!  Love you!!

1. "22 Years Of Marriage - Our Secrets Revealed - Part 1" - We have been asked by so many people what our secrets are for being in a relationship for so long and how we have kept the love alive.  Part 1 and 2 go into a little detail about what our secrets are.  We encourage you to share yours or ask questions.  Check Part 1 out at:  http://wp.me/p3ISne-7a
2. "22 Years Of Marriage - Our Secrets Revealed - Part 2" - Here is part 2 of how we have kept things alive for more than 22 years.  I hope you will find something new to use in here.  We also encourage you to share with us your favorite tip and one of yours if you have one.  You can check part 2 out at: http://wp.me/p3ISne-7b
3. "They Will Always Be Loved" - A short post about my men.  The big question, "How do you connect with your loved ones and how often?"  Check it out at: http://wp.me/p3ISne-7C
4. "Is Your Universe Out Of Balance?" - In this one I talk about what balance is when it comes to your life and how to get back in balance.  This will help you be more at peace with your day-to-day life.  You can view this one at:  http://wp.me/p3ISne-75
5. "Journey Toward The Spartan Race" - You will learn a little more about me and get to see me in action.  This is a feel good story about perseverance and mind over matter.  It discusses how you really can do anything you put your mind to. I am living proof!!  To find out more, click: http://wp.me/p3ISne-6Y
6. "This Is My Dream" - is a poem I wrote about following your dreams and not letting anyone else try to bring you down or distract you.  This one received a lot of traffic and likes.  You too can enjoy it at: http://wp.me/p3ISne-6q
7. "10 Famous Quotes On The Importance Of Your Thoughts" - This is exactly as the title suggests, with maybe a not-so-famous (YET) quote of mine thrown in.  This is a quick read but very inspirational.  You can reach it by clicking: http://wp.me/p3ISne-6Q
8. "Optical Illusions - What Do You See?" - This is a fun post with several optical illusions.  I tie these in with the idea that there are several ways to view people and events.  Sometimes we need to look a little closer.  These are fun but be sure to read and think about the message around it.  Click here for this one: http://wp.me/p3ISne-7p
9. "Introducing Yogi" - Yogi is our year and a half old German Shepherd who is a big part of our family.  I just talk a little about him, what he means to us and the tricks he can do.  This is a light hearted piece with some very cute pictures.  You can enjoy this one at: http://wp.me/p3ISne-6z.

All of these and many more can be found at my new location at www.PeaceAndHappiness Project where I continue to talk about how to reduce your stress and increase your inner peace and happiness.  I hope you will follow the new page and share the pieces that touch your heart.

I can also be found on Facebook at Words That Touch Your Heart, my author page.

Thank you as always for stopping by!!

Missy Cantlin Bell

 

You Can Run But You Can't Hide

 Have you every just wanted to run away, escape your problems or pack your bags and go on a long vacation  so you didn’t have to deal with what was going on in your life and finally find that happiness you’ve been searching for?  Have you ever thought that perhaps you would be happier if you just left everything behind and started over by moving to another state or country?

Life can be a lot to handle.  It throws you some crazy fast balls, straight at your face sometimes.  Escaping it is only temporary.  Unless you solve the issues that are there, they don’t go away.  They will follow you wherever you go.  After close inspection, you will realize that it was not your problems you were running from, it was how they made you feel... 


(to read the full article follow the link below since this site has now moved to another location.  If you are a follower, please follow from there.  Here's the link: http://peaceandhappinessproject.com/2013/07/20/you-can-run-but-you-cant-hide/  I appreciate you!!)

NEW WEBSITE - I Hope You Will Follow It

Hi Everyone,

My sincerest apologies for not being thorough.  My new website address is www.PeaceAndHappinessProject.com  If you are following me here, please head on over and follow at the new WordPress site. 

I am grateful for your support and following.  I hope you enjoy the several new posts I have made at the new site as you have here.  I have transferred all the old material over there as well.

Thank you again,
Missy Bell

A Simple Tip on How to Show Yourself Some Love

(This blog site and all of it's material has been moved over to my own domain at www.PeaceAndHappinessProject.com.  Please follow from there as this will not be receiving updates.  Thank you for stopping by.)

When I was about 12 years old we had a wipe board attached to the fridge for notes from my parents and older brother.  One morning I found the words, "I LOVE ME" were written in bold on it.  I though my brother had written it.  He was 9 years older than me and it would have just made sense for him at 17 to write that.

I approached my father with it later in the day and said something like, "Did you see that conceited note that Joey wrote on the fridge?"  My father just giggled.  "Read it again," he said.  So I did.  I couldn't understand why he found it funny.  It was rude in my eyes.  I always saw conceitedness as a negative trait to show.  He then gently pointed out that "I" was the one reading it.  It was meant as a message from whoever read it to whoever read it.  He reassured me that it was not conceit, it was OK to love myself and he thought we all needed a reminder.  WOW!  That concept blew my mind.  I loved it though.

Today, this would be called an affirmation.  If something positive is written and you repeat it often enough as if it is real and in the present, your subconscious will start to believe it. I'd like to share a "Conceited Love Note" with you and I want you to read it as if your subconscious was trying to send you a true message about yourself.  (Let's face it, it already is true but you just may not believe it all yet.)  Print it out and read it often.  You will be surprised at how your brain responds to it.  The below note was written just for you.  Enjoy!

The Conceited Love Note

I am wonderful

I have the ability to be whatever I choose

I am smart

I was born with the tools to succeed

My bank account does not define me

I am unique

I am filled with love and very loveable

I have what it takes to attract the right person and keep them

I have the ability to make a difference in the lives of those I love

I love life and look forward to the possibilities it holds

 I am grateful for what I have and who is in my life

I do the best I can every day in all I do

I say what I mean so I am understood but I am only kind with my words

I ask questions when I do not understand

I do not judge myself or others harshly

I give people compliments when they deserve them

I am kind

I never start drama

I forgive and do not hold grudges

I pay attention to my thoughts
Everything in my life happens for a reason

I have the ability to handle whatever life throws my way

I am in control of my responses to every situation

I am strong

I am a good person

I am successful in all I do

I LOVE ME 

You can create your own affirmations or add to this one.  I hope you will.  It is important to have faith in yourself and who you are and who you want to be.  Affirmations, stated in the positive, as if they are true, become true after time and effort is put into repeating them more than once a day, aloud and believing them.

What will you do with this information?  Will you create your own?  Will you write one for your spouse of children to read daily?  Will you make one to read to your small children daily?

What a difference these can make in your life.

*Please feel free to share this with anyone you think it will benefit.

(This blog site and all of it's material has been moved over to my own domain at www.PeaceAndHappinessProject.com.  Please follow from there as this will not be receiving updates.  Thank you for stopping by.)

Strategies to Stop Worrying

(This blog site and all of it's material has been moved over to my own domain at www.PeaceAndHappinessProject.com.  Please follow from there as this will not be receiving updates.  Thank you for stopping by.) 

Worry can consume you.  Some see it as a form of caring but if we look at it closer, it is a form of fear; fear that we cannot control or fix certain situations or that something could go wrong.

Worry has the ability to affect your health.  Have you ever heard the expression, “I’m worried sick?”  It can actually happen.

I have spent a great deal of my life in a worried state.  I believe I have come by it honestly through several generations of worriers.  As a child, I am told one of my favorite sayings was, “I’m so worried.“  I’m not sure if I knew then what worrying actually was.  I just saw so much of it being done that I thought it was what I was supposed to do. 

As an adult I worried about everything; what would or could happen in any given situation; about what my future held; if I would see the end of the world; whether my children would be safe; if we would lose our jobs; if a relative’s illness would end their lives; if it would rain when we had big plans; if the person I just passed on the side of the highway would remain safe; if I would offend someone with something I said; if my friend’s problem had a solution; if people I saw on the news in a tragic situation would recover emotionally; if I would find a solution for a real issue; if someone was mad at me; or if my children would grow up with the values I tried to instill in them.  The list could go on and on.

Practical Solutions for Situations Within Our Control
There are many types of  realistic problems that may have a solution such as how to pay a bill, how you will meet a work deadline or the how to work out the details of a gathering, etc.  These issues require our thoughts but not our worries.  Here are some suggestions on how to deal with situations that require a solution:

1. Create a time to worry, (or to think) about what you can do to find a solution.  Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., Robert Segal, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D wrote an article entitled, “How to Stop Worrying - Self Help for Anxiety Relief,” at HelpGuide.org, in which they state that you should give yourself a time period of approximately 20-30 minutes during the day for which to focus on your issue(s).  
2. Never dwell on issues at bed time.  Be sure to not schedule your solution time too close to bed time, or while you are in bed.  This will affect your sleep and you will not have success in solving any problems if you are tired and unable to sleep.  
3. Write it down in a “solution journal“.  If you worry outside of that time period on something that may have a solution, write it down in your journal and return to it during your designated worrying time.  This will enable you to free your mind for other things and lessen the anxiety.
4. Cross it off your list.  When you have a solution, write the solution next to the issue in the journal.  Do not cross off the solution but cross off the problem, leaving it visible.  
5. Review previous issues that you have solved.  The next time you have an problem, review what you have previously conquered.  Have faith that if you conquered those issues, you can conquer the current one as well.  You may even find that you had forgotten what you used to solve a similar issue last time and in review, find your solution written right there in your journal.

How to Reduce Anxiety Over Things You Cannot Control
I think it took a few major events to happen in our lives to realize just how much I worried about things and just how little control I actually had.  My oldest son and I were in a car accident where a truck coming in the opposite direction turned in front of us, cutting us off and we hit him, sending us by ambulance to the ER.  Five short months later, my youngest son was in the back seat of a car with friends when they collided with a tree, rendering him unable to walk for more than 6 weeks because of a compound fracture to his lower leg.  Literally, 5 days after that accident my husband was on his way to work and was struck from behind in traffic by a tow truck.  He was out of work for 4 weeks with severe leg injuries as well as several other injuries. 

It was during that time when I realized that, yes, I nearly lost ½ my family in one week, all of us in a matter of 5 months.  I had absolutely no control over any of those situations.  I realized, during that time frame I spent at home caring for them that I would have to make some changes to my thought processes in order to not have a nervous breakdown when anyone left the house and got in a car.  I realized that I would need to change my perceptions.

I still have anxiety at times when I get in the car and I still have passing moments of worry when my children leave the house or when there is severe weather pending when my kids are out driving but I take some steps that I hope will help you as they have helped me ease the fear and worry and anxiety over issues I could not control:

1. Ask yourself, “Can I control what happens?”  The truth is, most of the time, you cannot.
2. Ask, “Am I trying to prevent a situation from happening that I do not even know will happen?”  For instance, am I preventing my child from leaving with a friend simply because I am worried about what could happen?  Be careful of this.  It can cause major resentment and end in lies and deception.  They often find ways to get what they want without our knowledge.
3. Trust in a good outcome and trust in others.  Realize the joy people could create for themselves if they did not let the “what if” thoughts stop them.  Trust in others that they are there for you and those you worry about.  
4. Let it go.  Change your perception, “In this situation, since I cannot control it, what can I do to enjoy it to it’s fullest?”  
5. Review situations after they occur.  If you are worried about a situation and it’s possible negative outcomes, revisit the situation afterwards or ask someone who was involved in it.  See that nothing you were worried about happened.  This could prevent you from worrying the next time the same situation occurs.
6. Think in a positive light.  Be mindful of what you are thinking.  If you catch yourself thinking in a negative light, change it immediately before it affects yourself and others.  Write it down as stated above and give it to your journal.  Do not return to this kind of worry though.  Let whatever higher power you believe in deal with it and have faith that it will be handled.
7. Do not voice the scenario you are worrying about.  I try to remember one of Mark Victor Hansen’s famous quotes on the law of attraction, “what you think about, comes about.”  Do not give the universe to opportunity to create your scenario.  
8. Do not pass your fear or worry on to someone else.  If you have a fear about a situation that you cannot control that involves someone else, passing it on to them will not make them be any more careful than what they normally would have been, it will only pass on the irrational feeling to them or make them worry about something they too have no control over or make them worry about you worrying.  That truly does not benefit anyone.

These are some examples that I hope will help you when it comes to worry and anxiety.  It will be a work in progress.  Bookmark the page, print them out, do whatever it takes to refer to them often so they become a habit. 

Please hit the “share” button to post this to your Facebook or Twitter page so others may benefit.  So many people are battling with this on a daily basis and you could change their lives.

If you like this information please subscribe.  There are more posts to come with more great info on how to help you reduce your stress and anxiety and lead you to a more peaceful and happier life.  Please also see previous posts for other beneficial tips.

 (This blog site and all of it's material has been moved over to my own domain at www.PeaceAndHappinessProject.com.  Please follow from there as this will not be receiving updates.  Thank you for stopping by.)

The Importance of Appreciating A Simple Moment

(This blog site and all of it's material has been moved over to my own domain at www.PeaceAndHappinessProject.com.  Please follow from there as this will not be receiving updates.  Thank you for stopping by.) 

 My purpose with this blog is to help others reduce stress and the amount of time spent on negative situations in order to increase happiness and have more peace in their lives, all the while, learning myself how to relax and enjoy life and those around me more. My ultimate goal is to learn to create and stay longer in the state of peace.

In keeping with this theme I thought I'd share with you just something cute that happened today.  It is something so small that if I blinked I just might have missed it.

I was running very low on gas, for the sheer reason that I was being lazy about stopping.  There were too many other things that had to be done today.  When I finally pulled into the best place in town to get gas, I had 5 miles left in my tank according to the dashboard readout.  My parents always called this, "running on fumes."

I opened the tank and prepared to fuel up.  When I placed the nozzle near the gas tank a white moth flew out from inside the compartment.  It immediately made me laugh out loud.  Typically the cartoons I've seen have been moths flying out of an empty wallet and other things that were empty.  This was just priceless.

The reason I wanted to share was just a gentle reminder to stay in the moment.  You never know when life, or nature in this case will throw a comedic moment at you to make something so mundane just a little bit better.  It was if nature was trying to say, "slow down a moment and look at me!"

I am truly grateful for moments like this, however small and insignificant it may have seemed to others.  I hope this will remind you to take time to notice what goes on around you and appreciate the simple moments.

What kind of things have you noticed lately that brightened you day that you otherwise would have missed if you weren't paying attention?

 (This blog site and all of it's material has been moved over to my own domain at www.PeaceAndHappinessProject.com.  Please follow from there as this will not be receiving updates.  Thank you for stopping by.)

Overcoming Fear – Part 2 – Tips and Strategies

(This blog site and all of it's material has been moved over to my own domain at www.PeaceAndHappinessProject.com.  Please follow from there as this will not be receiving updates.  Thank you for stopping by.) 

 Part 1 in this 2 part series is about how I tackled a life-long fear of failure in order to see one of my dreams come true. The feeling of success and accomplishment was more than I could put into words. I hope you will go back and read part 1 as well.

What is it that you are afraid of? What could you accomplish without that fear? What does your fear stop you from doing? Are you at a stand still because you are afraid of either success or failure?

The only reason one person has a fear of failure while someone standing beside them does not share the same fear is because of what they say to themselves. Are you afraid of roller coasters? If you are, what is the reason? I used to have a fear of falling out of the seats. If you realize what you are actually afraid of, you have the power to remove that fear. Many have conquered that fear by closing their eyes and braving the adventure, only to step off the coaster and scream, “Let's do that again!”

Do you feel stuck in your job? Do you feel you will never get any further in your career than where you are right now? Is it affecting your overall mood and behavior? It doesn't have to. There is truly nothing stopping you from looking elsewhere. Don't use excuses such as, “The economy is bad; there's nothing out there,” “I don't have a degree,” etc. People are hired daily in every profession, even without a degree. My husband is working in the high paying field of computer software design. He decided it was what he wanted and would love to do. He went out, purchased programming books and taught himself several different computer programming languages and was awarded the job based on the knowledge he was able to display and convey to the interviewer. Believe it can be you and take action toward making it happen with whatever it is that makes you happy. Don't stop trying if you do not get the first job you interview for or if you do not reach your goal right away. I'm obviously not suggesting that you quit the job you have if you are unhappy. What I'm saying is that you could start your quest for happiness in another job or career by taking steps toward getting a different job while making money with the job you currently have. You have the power to conquer your fear.

Some fears are rational. They keep us safe from doing things that would otherwise injure us. They keep us alert as we walk alone to our car in a poorly lit parking lot. That same fear allows us to stay alert and ready to face a dangerous situation.

The type of fear I am addressing here is irrational fear. The emotions that stop you from experiencing something because you are afraid of how it will make you feel. These feelings start in the mind. We speak them to ourselves silently, over and over. We believe our subconscious and in order to protect ourselves we avoid the very thing, that if we just did it, could enable us to conquer that fear and lead to an amazing number of possibilities.

Ways of Acquiring Fear

There are many types of fear and many ways we acquire them. We are not born with it, it is something we learn and hold onto as we experience life. Recognizing and coming to terms with this can help you evaluate if your fear is even valid and possibly help you move past it.

1. Fears Adopted from Others - Some fears are adopted from the fears our parents, siblings or relatives had and some are adopted when we read about the failures, emotional pain or injuries acquired by others. Those fears are not your own and it is important to recognize that. What happened to other people may never happen to you. It is also never possible to know the exact experiences of another person that have created that fear. 
   
   
2. Fears Based on Lies - Fear can be based on lies. I remember when I was young someone told me that dragonflies had the ability to sew your mouth closed and they knew someone it happened to. I believed that lie and was, for the longest time, extremely scared of dragonflies.
   Friends and acquaintances may lie to us as well and tell us that what we have set out to accomplish is a goal that is unobtainable at our skill level. Again, always a lie. You have the power to achieve whatever you set your mind to as long as you believe.

It is important to decipher for ourselves what fears are rational and which are not.


2. Fear Through Experience - There are fears that we have discovered through our own experiences. Perhaps we made a judgment based on one event or a series of events and assumed that the same results would happen again if we tried. Success may be lurking around the corner but we would never find it without lack of fear.
   Fear can also manifest when we experience an event and determine that the feeling derived from it is worse than the benefits the event's possible positives could have brought you. For instance, imagine trying to accomplish something that you've always wanted to do but every time you try you don't reach your goal. Personal rejection may set in or fear of failure. You may determine that the negative feelings you receive from that are too much for you to handle.

Overcoming Fear

What if you kept trying? What if you didn't listen to that fear? What if you decided not to let yourself feel it? What if you could overcome it? How far could you go?

If Thomas Edison had feared failure he would have never have invented the light bulb. His “failures” were numbered at over 10,000. If he had believed he was a failure it may have stopped him. Instead, after the invention finally worked he stated that he had never actually failed, he had only discovered all the ways the light bulb would not work. What a brilliant perception! If he had not felt that way, we may still be sitting in the dark. One of Thomas Edison's famous quotes was, “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

1. Identify Your Fear's Origin and Validity - Identify one of your fears that is stopping you from doing something you've always wanted to do. Evaluate that fear and question whether or not it stems from your past and if it's even a valid fear in your present. Your fear may be outdated and no longer serving its purpose, in which case you need to eliminate it and move on to reach that goal that you are destined to accomplish.
   
   
2. Change Your Perception - Fear is a matter of perception. By changing your perception, the way you look at the situation, you may find that fear is not necessary, in fact, you may see how it is holding you back.
   
   
   Imagine yourself accomplishing your goal and the triumph you would feel when you succeeded. It would outweigh any feelings of failure and fear of accomplishment and enable you to push yourself farther to let you accomplish more by setting new goals. Knowing you accomplished the first mission, failing along the way, you would realize that your next failure is only a stepping block to feeling that triumph again when you meet or exceed the next objective. This concept can basically be applied to any type of goal; weight loss, exercise, getting a job you desperately desire, starting a new money-making hobby or venture, finishing a marathon, the list goes on.
   
   
   If someone else has accomplished it, so can you. It may require more effort than that person but if someone has done it, it can be done again. It just comes down to how badly you want it, whether you are willing to believe in yourself and how much effort you are willing to put into it.
   
   
3. A Positive Cancels a Negative – Change what you are saying to yourself. For instance, if you are telling yourself that you are not good enough, state that you are. If you hear yourself saying that you are not smart enough, stop believing that and do some research if necessary to educate yourself on the subject. Are you afraid of failure? You must discard all negative thoughts associated with the fear and decide that whatever someone else tells you, only you can decide what to believe. Believe you can!
   Henry Ford once said, “Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, only more intelligently.”
   
   
4. Use Affirmations, Believe in Yourself - If you want to overcome your fear you must decide that you believe in yourself. This often takes more work than just reading an article. This work takes time. You must focus your energy on and spend a great deal of time in that belief state in order to make this happen. Using affirmations, written statements of belief and putting them where you can read them aloud twice daily will set you in the right direction for this.
   

Don't let fear stop you from enjoying a fulfilled life and accomplishing your dreams. Discover what is stopping you or choose not to think about the fear. Take action and move forward. Adopt a new motto, “Giving up is not an option. I want this and will accomplish it not matter how many times I have to try without success.” You will amaze yourself with the end results. You must believe in the strength inside you. Do not believe the opinions of others who doubt you. They will be the first ones praising you silently when you succeed.

If you feel this has or will help you. Please feel free to print it out and post it somewhere for future reference.

What action will you take now that you have the tools above to conquer your fear? What are some goals you will set now that you know you can accomplish your dreams? Please share below.

 (This blog site and all of it's material has been moved over to my own domain at www.PeaceAndHappinessProject.com.  Please follow from there as this will not be receiving updates.  Thank you for stopping by.)